I became a FAN in 1993, after the release of Dangerous, after listening to the songs Will You Be There and Keep the Faith. I was attracted to these songs because I was suicidal from the ages of 9-13. It's not that I didn't like life or myself but I was teased day in and day out and bullied by my peers. My teachers and other school officials didn't do anything about it and I didn't let my mother in on it because she had her own issues to deal with. My grandmother, my rock, died when I was 9. I wanted to go with her. I didn't want to face my peers, just to be teased, stared at, hit, pushed, have things thrown at me because I was physically different from them!! I didn't want to deal with that so I stopped (basically) going to school in 6th, & 7th grade. In these grades I was also suspended 2 times for defending myself.

As I said, I didn't dislike life or myself though I would agree that after words that pierce your soul--you tend to have your self confidence ruined.

But upon listening to the songs Will You Be There (and there are many lyrics within that song that fits perfectly to my life's situation) and then him following it up with Keep the Faith...made me look at MJ's life. And though he probably had more control over his life (ie surgeries, etc) then I did...the outcomes remain the same. He didn't deserve what he got. He didn't deserve the jokes, the comments, the degrading abuse by people who didn't even know him. So uncalled for.

So I'm not a FANATIC...I didn't agree with everything he did in his life (just as I don't agree with everything my friend's do in life). I respect him as a human. I respect his music. I respect his dignity. I respect his soul. I respect what he was trying to accomplish in his life.

I hope that not only his music lives forever but I also hope that his message lives forever!! :-) I collect his related memorabilia because it certainly brings me back to happiness. It certainly makes me remember his messages. But, of course, if I ever come to a bump in the road (and I'm sure I will...there is meant to be bumps in the road of life)-I will look at his items, listen to his music and brings me back to that time when I was 13 and see that "yup life may suck right now"..."yup this is a rough spot in life"...but "YUP I WILL GET THROUGH IT!!!" After all, there is only ONE person that stops me and what I want in life and that is ME!!

I've come along way from looking at the bottle of pills to take when I was 13, or from holding the knife (not as serious as the bottle of pills...knife isn't going to do much) when I was 10. I dropped out of high school. I completed the GED. I went onto college and now I'm a nurse. I L.O.V.E. helping others. It's what I am meant to do. I love giving others what I didn't have. I plan on volunteering my services to medical missions overseas (I live in the states). Though I do not live my life like Michael Jackson-I certainly hear his messages loud and clear. We serve a purpose for mankind...